


Go ahead rip my heart out.

by Mystiquelove



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Romance, bit of angst I think, it's sorta like a fic for Ash's bday so yah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystiquelove/pseuds/Mystiquelove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>When a person reaches the coming age of eighteen, it is said that he or she will see their soul mate in their dreams. Once they and their destined soul mate meet, they both will receive a spark– a feeling only both of them know, and that will be the partner they shall end up with for the rest of their life. </em>
</p><p> Bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay i'm inlove with Lashton and I know that i'm making a lot of fics and stuff so yah.  
> This is probably gonna be just a two-shot.
> 
> Consider this a birthday gift for Ashton (even though he won't read it idek)

_When a person reaches the coming age of eighteen, it is said that he or she will see their soul mate in their dreams. Once they and their destined soul mate meet, they both will receive a spark– a feeling only both of them know, and that will be the partner they shall end up with for the rest of their life._

Bullshit.

Utter Bullshit.

All fucking lies. His primary teacher made it sound so easy and happy-go-lucky with unicorns and rainbows. But let’s face it, it wasn’t easy. At least for Ashton it wasn’t.

At first, it was all normal, everything was normal. Band practice, concerts, parties, and everything Ashton could ever want. His life was perfect.

But destiny just _had_ to fuck it up.

It all started when Ashton first turned eighteen; he was the oldest among the band members, so of course they were all excited to know how it felt like. Michael, Calum and Luke kept pestering him from the first of July to tell them how it felt like afterwards.

Naturally, Ashton was excited too. He couldn’t wait to see his _destined_ partner. _Was she beautiful? Did she have long hair? Does she like music?_ _A brunette? Or a Blonde?_ Those were Ashton’s last thought’s before he drifted to sleep.

And that, was the start of his downfall.

The next day he woke up, he was shaking, purely shell shocked at his vivid dream. Unlike his usual dreams, He could definitely remember every single detail. From the place, to the room, to his partners face. And that was what shocked him.

It wasn’t a _She,_

It was a _He._

But then again, it wasn’t just any _He._ It wasn’t some random guy he probably never met in his life.

No, it was far from that- the actual opposite. His partner was someone he was really close to. It was someone with blonde hair, someone who he basically was with 24/7 ever since the band formed, someone who suddenly shot up recently, growing taller than Ashton, someone who was the lead vocalist of the band, someone who wore a lip piercing with his hair perfectly quiff-

God, it was fucking Luke Hemmings.

 _Luke,_ his fucking band mate was also his soul mate. 

He should have seen that coming, he should have definitely seen that coming. The way he thought about Luke has never been so _innocent._  And with him hitting puberty all of a sudden, it didn't make things better.

When he got up from his bed, walking into the kitchen to get breakfast, he saw all of them waiting for him, already sitting down on the table, asking him who it was and how it felt like.

And Ashton could never bring himself to tell them so he quickly lied saying that it was some girl he never met, slowly disappointing the others.

He couldn’t tell them, at least not _yet._

But God, few years had passed since that incident and Ashton was turning twenty today and it was getting harder and harder to bottle up his feelings in front of Luke.

He was falling deeper for Luke. A helplessly In love fool.

Michael was the second to follow to getting his dream, followed by Calum in a few months. Turns out, Calum was Michael’s destined partner and it was a good thing both of them realized it was mutual immediately; otherwise it could have turned into a nervous breakdown, resulting into a huge fight within the band.

Ashton was happy for them, but he couldn’t lie about the fact that he was a _little jealous_. Every time he watched both of them having their disgustingly love-sick time together, he could just imagine them being him and Luke.

Yes, Ashton has done nothing since that incident. The only person he told was Calum (not quite exactly told, Calum just found out). At first, Calum was shocked, asking him a bunch of questions until he calmed down, feeling sorry for Ashton.

 Luke was still seventeen, so he hadn’t received his destined partner yet. What if it wasn’t Ashton? What if it was a girl? What if Ashton’s love was one-sided?

Ashton definitely worried. There were many recent cases of unrequited love, which sucked big time because that could totally be possible. Especially if it was between the same gender. How fortunate Michael and Calum are.

 _I wish for my feelings to be returned._ Ashton thought, wishing silently when he blew the candles on the birthday cake his band mates got for him.

**OxOxOxO**

A total of eight days passed since Ashton’s birthday and Ashton was nervous as fuck. It was going to be Luke’s birthday tomorrow and it wasn’t just any birthday, it was going to be his _eighteenth_ birthday and Ashton was not mentally prepared for this. For confession, rejection or anything,

Calum could see Ashton losing it and quickly came to his comfort, assuring Ashton that everything was okay while trying to calm him down.

“I try to, but I can’t Cal...” Ashton whispered, “I’m not yet ready, I don’t want to hear the rejection yet. This, it’s too much.” Ashton wanted to cry, he wanted to let it all out.

Calum wrapped his arms around him, whispering words of assurance over and over again, “It’s okay, everything’s okay Ashton.”

And Ashton wanted to secretly believe those words.

**OxOxOxOx**

Everything was not okay.

It was Luke’s birthday today, and all of them were sitting on his bed, anticipating for him to wake up. Especially for Ashton, he was panicking, nervous, excited, sad, hopeful all at once. Same went for Calum, all of them hoping it would turn out for the better.

Luke suddenly jolted from his bed, sweating and panting. A pure look of shock came across his face.

“So…” Michael started slowly, trying to look serious even though he was secretly excited. “Who did you see?” And Ashton’s eyes were looking so hopeful.

Luke soon noticed that everyone was in his bed, he looked panicked for a second before avoiding gazes from everyone. “J-just s-someone I never met…”

“Boy or Girl?”

Luke bit his lip, still avoiding everyone’s eyes. “G-girl…A-anyway, what are you guys doing here in my room? Get out.” He groaned, trying to change the topic.

But that was enough for Ashton. Ashton knew it, he knew this would happen. He shakily got up, trying to control his tears from spilling. “Y-yeah, let’s just, uh, get out. Yeah…” He quickly said before running out of the room.

Calum soon followed after Ashton, “Luke, you fucking idiot.” He cursed before immediately running after Ashton.

Luke’s eyes widened, trying to say something, anything, but nothing came out. He and Michael were left alone in the same room.

He groaned, covering his face with his hands, later stuffing a pillow in his face. “Mikey, it was him… “ 

“...You are a god damn idiot Luke Hemmings.”


	2. I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter. =)
> 
> IMP NOTE:  
> Some italics mean that it was a flashback, or that it was the story in another persons perspective. C: well, you'll understand what I mean when you read it.
> 
> OK I HAVE TO SAY A MASSIVE HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TO ASHTON IRWIN! Our lovable drummer is now twenty .__. time flies so fast.

That night, all of them decided to go to a club, in celebration for Luke’s finally-legal-age. Ashton was downing on his thirteenth drink. His vision was blurry, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t needed anymore. He was going to be forever alone. He was one of those  _unrequited_ cases. He would never find another partner.

Ashton was a wreck.

_Ashton ran away from Luke’s room, sobbing in the toilet. He knew it. He fucking knew it. He should have never given his hopes up._

_“Ash? Open the door.” Calum asked, in a pleading voice, “Please?”_

_“Go away…”_

_“It’s me, Calum. Ash, please open the door.”_

_Ashton finally opened the door, his eyes swollen and puffy red. He looked at Calum’s face. “Cal, I knew it… I already expected it… but…”_

_“-Shh, don’t say anything more.” Calum hushed Ashton, hugging him tightly, “I’m sure you’ll find another one.”_

_But Ashton knew there never was going to be ‘another one’.  He was going to be alone, for good. His eyes had no more emotion in them. Like a void._

He hopped off the stool, heading towards the dance floor, joining in with the rest of the people. Calum and Michael couldn’t be found, and Luke… he could care less about Luke. He felt someone grinding on him, but he didn’t care. He could care less anything anymore.

He hooked up with this girl Ameila? Anna? Whatever her name was, and they were stumbling out of the dance floor, heading near a corner. Ashton pushed her against the wall. As he stared at her closely, the girl had blonde hair and blue eyes, just like Luke. They looked exactly like Luke’s.

_But she wasn’t Luke._

Ashton couldn’t think properly anymore as the girl’s lips were on his.

_Just forget._

His started kissing her back, with the image of Luke imprinted in his mind. They way Luke’s lips would feel, the way Luke’s touch would be, the way Luke would slowly tug at his shirt, begging for more.

_But she wasn’t Luke._

 It didn’t last long though as he was suddenly yanked away. “What the fuck mate-“ Ashton shouted until he looked at the person who yanked him.

 It was Luke.

Luke’s eyes were not focused on him, but at the girl Ashton was with. He glared at her really badly, sending off a dangerous aura towards her. “Leave.”

The girl seemed to get message, scurrying far away, with dear written all over her face.

Once she left, Ashton looked up at him. “What the fuck do you want?” He snapped, “You clearly interrupted a moment.” He stared at Luke. Something unreadable was in his eyes. A mysterious emotion.

“We need to leave now.” Luke’s voice was firm, “You drank a lot, let’s go.” He tried pulling Ashton but Ashton remained intact, pulling away from him.

“No.” Ashton angrily looked away, “Go to whoever is your destined partner. Go to  _her.”_ He wanted to run away, “You don’t need me. You don’t.”

Luke refused to listen, grabbing his wrist. “Is this what this is about? Why are we talking about our life partners?”

Ashton snapped, “Yes, yes it is!”

“How? Why do you want to know about my life partner?”

 “Because it was suppose to be me!” He couldn’t handle this anymore, he wanted to let everything out. He didn’t sign up for this drama. “It was supposed to be me, Luke!” He broke down, tears flowing out.

He could feel Luke freeze, stopping everything, but his vision blacked out before he could listen to whatever Luke wanted to say.

**OxOxOxOxO**

Ashton groggily opened his eyes, feeling a sudden pain hitting his head. He sat up, holding his head. He looked around, finding himself in his hotel room. He tried standing from the bed but failed to do so.

 _I must have drunk a lot._ Ashton thought, still feeling dizzy from the aftermath. _Fucking hangovers._

“Up already?” He heard a familiar, gentle voice speaking. He looked up to see Luke standing near the door, holding a tray which had water and some painkillers.

Luke placed the tray down, sitting next to Ashton. “Are you okay?” He asked worriedly, handing the painkillers and water. And no, Ashton was not okay.

“Feel like shit…” Ashton groaned, taking whatever Luke gave him, “Thanks Luke.” He mumbled, taking a gulp of the water. “Ah, this is refreshing.”

“So…” Luke started unsurely, being fidgety. “Do you remember anything from last night…?”

Ashton frowned, wondering whatever Luke was talking about. He took another gulp of his water before almost spitting it out.

Memories from last night started flowing through his head. Ashton paled in horror, suddenly feeling sick in the stomach.

_Luke knows._

_Luke remembers._

_Luke won’t talk to him._

_Luke found out._

“T-that, yeah, uhmm..” Ashton stuttered, not knowing how to deal with this situation. Luke found out.  _Luke found out._ “A-about that, j-just forget out about-“

“-did you mean it?” Luke asked seriously, staring into Ashton’s eyes. “Did  _you_ mean what you said last night?”

Never in his life has Ashton wanted to run away from a situation. Never in his life has Ashton wanted to reset his life.

“I…” Ashton couldn’t look at Luke in the eyes, “I…” he could feel himself trembling. He didn’t want to say it, he didn’t want to hear Luke say it. He didn’t want to hear the rejection.

“Ashton..” Luke said softly, “I’m not going to hurt you…”

_But you already did Luke, you already did._

Ashton looked away, he didn’t want to do this. Why did destiny or fate have to do this to him? Why couldn’t they pick someone else, anyone else? Why did it have to be _Luke?_

“Ashton, please…” Luke’s voice pleaded, and that made Ashton finally look at him. Luke had never seemed so broken, “Please…”

Ashton bit his lip. No, he has to face this. No matter the result, no matter the outcome. He _needed_ to do this. He needed to tell him.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Yes, Luke, I meant everything I said. You were in my dream when I was eighteen, you were suppose to be _my_ destined partner. But it seems like this wasn’t supposed to be, I ended up being one of those unrequited cases.” Ashton smiled bitterly.

Luke shook his head, shocked. “I can’t believe this…I really can’t…we’ve been running in circles all along. _Oh my God_ Ashton, we’re so stupid.” Luke groaned, covering his face with his hands.

Ashton looked at Luke confused. Luke was inching closer and closer to Ashton. “What are you..?-“ Luke was now a few centimeters away from his face.

“-Just shut up Irwin.” He breathed, and before he knew it, he felt his lips clash against his own.

Ashton froze, his eyes widened, trying to process what the hell just happened.

_Luke was kissing him._

And Ashton slowly succumbed and melted into the kiss, It was soft, passionate, calm. Ashton could feel Luke smile as Ashton kissed back, but that was fine, Ashton could feel himself tear up, and this time, out of _happiness._

When he finally pulled away, Ashton tried to make out the words. “Was that…?”

Luke was smiling at him. “Yes Ashton, it’s the same for me. _You_ are my soul mate.”

“B-but, you said that-“

“Yes, I know. I was afraid of rejection too.” Luke looked down, “I have to be honest about this.” Luke sighed, ruffling his hair, “I liked you before all this fate or destined partner whatever shit happened. I liked you the moment we met, the moment Michael introduced you. When it finally reached your eighteenth birthday, I was scared; I didn’t know what to do. Then when we asked you who you dreamt of, you told us it was some girl you haven’t met. So, yeah…” He trailed off.

_“So?” Calum asked excitedly as Ashton exited of his room, entering the kitchen. “Who was it?”_

_“Hmm?” Ashton asked groggily before realizing what Calum meant. “Oh...”_

_Luke’s heart pounded rapidly, his hands sweating. He hoped Ashton dreamt about him. He could feel Michael anticipating too. Luke had only told Michael about his crush on Ashton, which was back then when Ashton first joined the band._

_Ashton scratched his head, avoiding their gazes. “Some girl, haven’t met her though.”_

_That alone crushed Luke._

_Calum whined, “That sucks. I was expecting something more exciting.” He pouted, but his eyes lit up, “Anyway, C’mon here birthday boy, time to celebrate!”_

_But Luke wasn’t in a party mode anymore, he felt miserable. Michael tried to give his best, not wanting Ashton to notice anything odd or whatsoever._

_“Yay…” Luke mumbled as Ashton blew the candles._

Ashton’s eyes widened, not believing the story. “So, that means..- Oh my God. We’re so stupid.” Ashton face-palmed.

They both suffered for nothing. And if it was hard for Ashton, then it was harder for Luke. He couldn’t believe Luke had to suffer all this time, just because of Ashton. “Oh my, Luke, I’m so sorry… I…”

Luke gave a soft smile, wrapping his arms around Ashton. “It’s okay Ashton,” He whispered, “ Forget about the past, what matters is _now,_ which is the present. _”_

Ashton hugged Luke back. “You’re such a sap.” He teased, hearing Luke mumbling to shut up and enjoy the moment.

Ashton finally found his courage to say the words he always wanted to say. He pulled away from the hug, looking straight into Luke’s eyes. “Luke, I love you.”

“…I love you too.” Luke smiled, both of them leaning in for a second kiss.

And it was moments like this, where Ashton was thankful for fate choosing the right person.

**XoXoXoX**

In the living room were Calum and Michael, waiting for Luke and Ashton to come out. Michael was sitting on the couch, while Calum was pacing back and forth around the room.

 **"** Do you think they made up?" Calum asked to his boyfriend worriedly, "How about if this leads a scar in the band? How about if they don't realize it yet? How about if they-"

"-God, Calum, just shut up." Michael groaned, "Prancing around the room like a high school girl  isn't going to solve their situation. Shut up and let's cuddle." 

Calum rolled his eyes, "Such a proper boyfriend. You should be lucky we realized the spark sooner otherwise we would've been in Luke's and Ash's place by now. God, why did I end up with an idiot?" 

"I'm your lovable idiot, babycakes." And well, Calum can't deny that, so he just stuck with giving another eye-roll.

As Luke and Ashton exited their room, they entered the living room, finding Michael and Calum waiting nervously for them (well Michael wouldn't admit it but he was also worried).

Calum was about to ask something, but stopped as he saw both of their hands intertwining, happy and contented smiles on their faces. Calum let out a sigh of relief, knowing what it meant.

Michael seemed to notice that too as he gave a knowing smile.

“About damn time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all those who read my err- fics. You guys are awesome!  
> Note: this chapters are un-edited, so, maybe i'd be editing it, adding more dialogue and stuffs.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I just wrote.


End file.
